Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize