I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
