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Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize