hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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