thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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