do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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