Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
