I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize