he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize