it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
