8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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