OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
