I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
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seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
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Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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