You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
