Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
These tits shall not be calmed
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
