I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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