Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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