I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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