I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I will die if light touches me.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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