this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
