CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
