I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i just had sex bonerless
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
