we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
