You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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