he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She bit a glass in half.
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its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
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Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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