Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
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I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
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We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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