just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Is Oprah even human
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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