we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
