Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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