btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
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You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize