the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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