when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
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he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
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And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage