He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.