Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
