I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize