I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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