I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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