so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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