i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
