I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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