im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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