So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
