i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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