I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize