so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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