You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
