Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
