I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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