I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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