just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize