As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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