No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
