wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
