We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
