hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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