If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
love makes seman taste better
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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