I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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