I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
