Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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