So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
