I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
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This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
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So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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